currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
