When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
