i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
