that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
