Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
