A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
