Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
