I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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