I want to walk on stilts...naked
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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