we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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