i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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