I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
