you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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