I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
try to milk me bitch
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