im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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