P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
