Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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