He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
