im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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