Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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