she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
