who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
