Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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