he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His hands were made for my vagina.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
3 2 1 whiskey
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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