Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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