You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
