So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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