just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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