Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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