tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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