We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
