oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
