You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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