I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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