Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
