Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
