you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i came on her dog
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
