Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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