So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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