These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
