oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
