you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
