I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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