i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
