I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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