Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
