I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
