drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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