your thong is hanging out like whoa
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
