Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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