Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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