This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
