I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
