In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
barbara walters just said penis...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize