Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
