so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
