i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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