the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
