dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Everyone says I win the strip club
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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