I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
