i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
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Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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